You May Get Dirty When You Throw Mud On Others

A policeman was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility ... 

Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?' 

A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.' 

Q: 'Officer, who provided this description?' 

A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.' 

Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?' 

A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.' 

Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?' 

A: 'Yes sir, we do!' 

Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?' 

A: 'Yes, sir, I do.' 

Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'

A: 'Yes, sir.' 

Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?' 

A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

The Door Stopper

Two church members were going door to door. They knocked on the door of a woman who clearly was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms she did not want to hear their message and then slammed the door in their faces.

To her surprise, the door did not close. In fact, it bounced back open. Seeing the two church members at the door frustrated her. She stormed back to the door and flung it shut.

But the door still didn't close. Furious, she grabbed the door with two hands and shoved it as hard as she could. But again, the door wouldn't shut.

Convinced one of these rude church members was sticking a foot in the door, she reared back to give the door a slam that would really teach them a lesson.

Just then, one of the church members said, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you might want to move your cat."

I Stand at the Door

A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back "Revelation 3:20" and stuck it in the door. (Revelation 3:20 reads: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he will with me.")

The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was a notation "Genesis 3:10" ("And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked.").